brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
