you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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