Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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