she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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