when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
