Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
