she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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