Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
