Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
