seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
