Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
