You work out of a Hotel?
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
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