Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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