yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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