You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I have aggressive nipples.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
