So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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