Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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