I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
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