Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
