Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Semen is not good for contacts.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
