she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
