I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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