her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I enjoy the company of your penis
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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