im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
