Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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