just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
