all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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