i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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