"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
