i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
