fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
