Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I skipped work to stalk him.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize
