I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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