A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
