She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
