Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
