Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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