it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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