So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
