did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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