No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
