Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
