you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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