Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
