you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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