This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
