your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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