she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
