Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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