so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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